Lots of new words...

Well after trying to study the cranial nerve tracts for many solid hours, I finally caved and needed a break. I got in about 25 miles on the bike for a late night work out. Great refresher with adrenaline, sadly don't know those pathways any better though.

Having a weird time with my ankles today, just a little achey and sore still so taking it easy doing lighter impact things I think this week. Lots of stretching in my future. Survived another Monday full of words like superior/inferior colliculi, cerebral/cerebellar peduncles, pterygoids, and too many pathways for my head. You'd think since they are all in there, it'd be easier to memorize?

Back at it!

Finally felt like the arthritis and calmed down enough today so I went for a 5 mile run on the treadmill before watching the walking dead. Run went well and it felt awesome to sweat again; running will always be my favorite of the trifecta. I am feeling pretty nervous for this week, I have to go into robot mode where all I do is study all the time to prepare and do well on exams next week. Here we go!

"Even when you have gone as far as you can, and everything hurts, and you are staring at the specter of self-doubt, you can find a bit more strength deep inside you, if you look closely enough." - Hal

Arthritis Foundation's Upper Midwest Juvenile Arthritis Foundation Network Panel

Today, I was very fortunate to be invited and serve on a panel for kids with juvenile arthritis and their families. While I was initially hesitant to do this because of how crazy medical school has been, it was without a doubt a great reminder of why I wanted to be a doctor. I hope that it will fuel me through the coming difficult weeks of exams. I was really inspired and surprised to hear the commonality in each of the panelist four stories as three of us were around the same age and another one was a little younger. While treatments and medications have come a long way to treat RA, parents, kids, and families all go through the same struggles....not coping with the disease, being angry at the world, depression, refusing to take medications, and ultimately, the best part, acceptance and embracing RA. It was really great for me, to finally be around people who actually understood what I was talking about. How that disgusting color of methotrexate makes me physically nauseous and throw up, how alcohol swabs never remind us of good things, and how waking up in the middle of the night stiff and in pain is the worst because you know it will only mean the next day will be that much harder.

Within our four stories as panelist, you could tell that RA has really molded us into the people we are today: someone who is involved in legislature and advocacy, a radiographer who is passionate about working with kids at the JRA summer camp, a young adult who has undergone hip replacement surgery at such a young age and has dreams of becoming a genetic counselor, and then me, a small town kid with big dreams of becoming a doctor and an Ironman Athlete. RA has really been a positive thing and I'm not sure who I'd be without it? Thank you to the families and the Arthritis Foundation for putting on this event.

I also was able to talk with a representative (Megan) from the Arthritis Foundation, who said they will be bringing on an intern to help tell my journey with RA and the Ironman. They also told me about some other really exciting news regarding a sponsorship between myself, the Arthritis Foundation, as an honoree at the 2014 Jingle Bell Run in Madison, WI. I can't thank Megan enough for helping me tell my story and I hope it inspires just one person to pursue whatever it is that they never thought they could do, but always wanted to do.

I forgot to order my meds...

As anyone who has a chronic illness will tell you, it's really hard to be on your "A game" with your disease all day and every day. I owe a lot of what I am able to do to my medications and this week I was reminded of that.

On Sunday, I was stuck in my head trying to get ready for this week with classes, a visit with my preceptor, a great opportunity with families and the Arthritis Foundation, integrating my training plan into my schedule, and keeping myself fueled, rested, fed, and sane! I noticed an alarm on my phone that it was time for my medications but when I went to the fridge to gather the syringes, I realized that I had forgotten to place my order. I knew this was bad news. I often like to think of arthritis flares as perfect storm of little things that need to come together; for every patient with RA it seems that it is different but for me it is lack of sleep, stress, and an inability to exercise.

After an intense workout weekend with a two hour bike ride and a 16 mile run, wouldn't you know it, my right ankle swelled up and began to give me trouble. I found myself not being able to flex it as I should and even having trouble while doing low impact things like biking and swimming. I knew I couldn't exercise and without exercise my stress levels from school started to slowly creep up and so before you knew it, I was in pain not just in my ankle but also my neck. I even started having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, my sign that I need to take it easy. This week, it seemed, my arthritis was winning.

On my worst day pain wise, I was fortunate enough to interact and practice some new physical skills on a standardized patient who also had arthritis. I say fortunate because they reminded me that my personal struggles with arthritis will help me be able to relate to my patients and be an overall better physician. It also reminded me of why I personally wanted to be a physician in the first place. I am a big believer in mind over matter and sometimes it's little interaction like that which help bring me out of a rut. So this week, I was reminded that arthritis is a part of who I am..but I refuse to let it determine what I will do.